At some time in every person's lifetime, he or she will experience the grief of loss.
People of all ages can feel the emotions of grief. Sadness, anger, frustration, fear, guilt, anxiety, a sense of injustice, remorse, despair, relief, longing, rage, apprehension and so many others make up the feelings of grief. Even babies can show us that they feel the emotions of the adults around them. It is said that if a child is old enough to love, they are old enough to grieve.
Right now, you may be grieving the loss of a baby, a child, a brother or sister, a parent or grandparent, a spouse or partner, another family member, or a friend or co-worker. You may be looking for grief support resources and information on suicide, murder, accident or other sudden death.
We're here to help. We have materials to support children, teens and adults who are experiencing the grief of loss.
You can also get help from Social Work, Psychology or Spiritual Care.
Life is hard sometimes. It's good one day, then something happens to change all that. A person you love just dies - your mom, dad, or grandparent. It could be a brother or sister, friend, someone at school or someone else in your family. It’s not easy being a kid coping with death.
You could be sad or mad or even think it's your fault. Maybe you're scared that someone else or even you might die. You might cry or not feel anything. Lots of kids go through this after someone dies.
Maybe you can't sleep or eat or feel jumpy or cranky. Your tummy or head hurts. You don't want to go to school or out to play. Other kids have these things happen too.
This is called grief. Grief can change the way your body and mind feels and acts.
Some kids find that it helps to talk about their feelings and thoughts. Your friends might act differently around you and don't know what to say to you right now. An adult who you feel close to and safe with can help.
Someone that you care about a lot has died. Here are some ideas that may help you to think about the person who died and remember them.
Remember Someone
Using Art to Get Your Feelings Out
Make a Collage
You can find books and videos that can help you and your family help at the Family Support & Resource Centre.
You're hurting. Someone that you love has died. It may seem that no one understands and that you are alone in this loss. It's really hard to ask for help when you're trying to be independent and stand on your own.
It may surprise you to learn that there are many teenagers in your community who are grieving a very personal loss just like you. We know that sharing the story with others can be comforting. Just knowing that you are not alone and that someone will listen without criticizing can help a lot.
Your feelings are so complicated. You're mad, sad, sometimes you might even be glad. You may be a little afraid of what happened, wondering who's next or if it could happen to you. One thing for sure, you feel kind of different from your friends and family. You can tell that people aren't sure what to say around you and no one seems to want to talk about the death with you, even though you really want to.
And, you never know when it will hit. You can be walking down the street and a memory comes up and, before you know what happened, the tears are running down your face. It's kind of embarrassing.
Here, you will find out about other teens who are coping with the death of someone they love. See what other teens facing grief have to say about going to a teen group for grief support and resources and how it helped them. The most important thing to do while coping with a death, as you'll see, is to talk about your loss and your grief to someone. Grieving is telling the story. Healing is grieving.
Things you can do
Make photo collages of the person who died. Bring them out anytime or on special days and share wonderful stories together.
Plant a tree or create a memorial garden in your yard.
On special days such as birthdays, day of the death, holidays or other important days, light a special candle and keep it lit all day.
Sponsor an award or scholarship at the loved one's school, church or club.
Create a special decoration for the Christmas tree or other special events for your family and give it a place of honour.
Use the rituals of your faith community that acknowledge your grief journey.
Have a totally fun day on the birthday of the person who died. The whole family can take time off work and school and just spend the whole day and evening together doing all the fun things they can think of in memory of your loved one. Volunteer your time, experience and knowledge with other families at your local hospice organization, community agency or hospital.
Books and Videos for Youth
You can find books and videos that can help you and your family help at the Family Support & Resource Centre.
You may have found your way here because you had a personal loss or you may want to know how to support someone else's loss and grief. The most important thing to know is that there are usually no satisfactory answers; no way to fix it; and no way to take the pain away. Grievers feel pain. Some say that grief is the price we pay for love.
When someone we love dies, our world is changed in an instant. As people, we depend on the relationships in our lives. When a relationship changes, our lives change. When someone dies, things are never the same again.
This is why, when there is a death, we feel so helpless and powerless. It may be the first time that we can't control an outcome. It may be the first time that we can't 'make it better' for ourselves or for our children.
The most important thing to do is to find someone who will honour your needs. When you are ready to talk, find someone who will listen. Every person grieves differently.
You can find books and videos that can help you and your family help at the Family Support & Resource Centre.
